France, 1994
lauradubourjal.com
Thesis: Narcissistic Me
Family Portait, an autofiction through clothing.
I grew up in a theatre, in a family of actors, six to be exact ( both my parents, my grand-parents, my grand-mother’s twin sister and her late husband).
I felt special growing up amongst all these characters.
And yet so unnoteworthy because I was not part of them.
Everyone asked me constantly if I wanted to become like them, as if it was a choice.
I grew up in a world where faces appeared as fast as they disappeared.
So many personas were brought to life around me.
This plurality of roles and metamorphoses has made it difficult for me to know when I am experiencing the « real person ».
I could call them Mother and Father, but I remember not always being sure of who was standing in front of me.
Where is the border between person and character? What creates this frontier?
Am I not performing myself this instant?
Through the discovery of where I come from, my multiple facets reveal themselves to me.
These characters that I embody are my ghosts, my monsters.
They are all inspired by my family members, by this duality inside of them.
My view on who they are is tainted by the many parts they have played in front of me.
I need to incarnate them to tame them, to control them.
I saw them all performing and they are now present for mine.
I want to understand who I am, I want to control my identity.
I am trying to escape this fatality, I am inventing who I am by morphing into those I admire.
Those who inspire me through their transformations.
